PREFACE: This was my Do Now (warm-up activity) in class recently. Much of this entry is from my Do Now's (I write with my students) that I just found, pondered and decided to publish...
I have wondered about this every single day since May 5, 1999. I ask my students to write about it. Anna and I are doing a video project with students about it. I instigate conversations about it with my family as we take up an at least two acres on the beach. I have finally figured out why I am consumed by this thought...because I am in love and it all started one Cinco de Mayo many years ago!
This is a major revelation for me! I try so hard to make everything harder than it has to be. I fight through easy things, I struggle when I am bored, I make mountains out of mole hills, I move after I start to like a place, I run marathons for fun and so on... Now, as I ponder constantly about what happens next, where should I run to this time, how much better could I do "this" or "that", I am smacked with the first real truth of my life. I love Aaron, the real way. I love him the way it has been explained over and over to me (which is that it is unexplainable, you will just know...), I get it now because I realized today that I love him.
I have this insatiable part of me that yearns and questions every thing, and Poor Aaron! For the past seven years I have forced him to listen to my craziness, demanded his attention to detail (and we all know that Aaron could care less about most things, this is why we love him so), broken our hearts, messed up a lot, been selfish (and I am sure that I have erred in many other arenas) and he still holds my hand no matter what. He still takes time for me every day, he still is my best friend, he still calms me down when one else can, he still listens to me (and even I know that I can be too much to listen to sometimes), and he loves me for who I am. WHAT MORE IS THERE TO THIS CRAZY NOTION?
I have been questioning and doubting because this is what I do best, I doubt and question. Today, I have grown up a lot. I even told one of my students the "secret" of our relationship the other day...this is another funny story for another time, but I realize that I have a good thing going with this man. He is the love of my life!
10 comments:
Yeah,
I love Aaron two.
I believe more and more in the dedication of love. It takes absolute commitment and respect but rewards with solidarity and completeness. Aaron is a wonderful man and I am glad you are in touch with the true gift he brings to your life. No matter what the future holds, nothing should change the feeling your enjoying now.
Wow, what great advice. I do find it hard to enjoy the present. I am consumed by the thoughts of what may be, what could be, etc. Thanks for pointing out the positive and for allowing me to slow down and take it in for a moment...you are a good woice of reason, please keep it coming!
OH, Keba, be honest. We both know that you would like him to give you more treats, brush you more, talk to you more, and take you longer morning walks...be honest with him, there is no need to be scared of him.
Wow!! So after almost 7 years it finally hit you---well I for one think it is great! I vividly remember being in that state of mind when I first met Craig and the feeling has never left me---
You go girl (and Aaron too!) Give him a kiss for me.
Love ya lots and miss you more
M.Lee (THE favorite Aunt)
PS We just returned from a Basket Bingo at Carly's Elem School and wonder of wonders I WON a BASKET...can you believe it--after going to these fund raiser for over 6 years I finally won---must be the LOVE vibes emanating from DC.
M.Lee
Hi
WOW! This is amazing, your stories, your sharing, your blog!
I am visiting where there is a computer and can actually read what i have been hearing about....but talk about bringing out a smile. This is wonderful to hear - that you are experiencing an inner awareness of what many talks in many places have tried to put into words for you. You see what people mean when they tell you ...."it's hard to put into words you just know" and now you know. Aaron, i have know for a long time, is an absolutely wonderful person. You two compliment each other in so many ways. I sm so happy for you to finally say you feel real honest heartwarming love. I hope this is a feeling that you will enjoy for a long, long, long time. One question....how does Aaron feel?
Oh, mom, you always ask the most perfect questions...I turn the floor over to him to tackle this question! (read: i will pose this question to him, "My mom wants to know how you feel about me.) What, oh what do you think he will say?
It's my bet he will say that you R the LOML. Let's see because it 's true for me. IBDB
NICE, Dad! You are so clever...I keep asking him, but he is avoiding the question (I think he is slightly intimidated by our family, can you imagine THAT!). OH, and by the way...you will always be the LOML, too. When should we set up our next phone date? It has been awhile, eh?
HAHA!
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